The theme is 'free and easy'. Not sure this has anything to do with theme...I gave myself the task of meditating on a paperclip for 15 minutes. I thought something would easily 'come to me' if I stayed long enough, relaxed enough being with this ordinary paperclip. My mind never shut up...
"how long can i stay with this, this is so stupid, i can't do this, oh forget it, why did i even pick a paperclip its so boring, there is nothing here, nothing is happening, i cant stand this, this is ridiculous, my nose is running, i should just stop" I
noted this is IMPATIENCE, DOUBT, FEAR, RESISTANCE, JUDGMENT. My more positive mind continued
" allow IT to come to you, stop insisting, demanding, imposing your will. stop demanding to know, to get somewhere, to connect, just shut up, breathe, stay, relax..."
Allowing my thoughts to 'spin out of control' WITHOUT ACTING ON THEM (I wanted to quit, throw the paperclip against the wall) opened my heart, softened me, got me closer to myself, more present and LESS AFRAID. It wasn't really about the paperclip...it was about STAYING with my intention. I am deeply grateful for this great gift of meditation...to watch my fear and suffering melt away seems a miracle to me.
